My cancer is very slowly robbing me of strength. I’ve got very little pain, too little to notice But I don’t sleep well and feel perpetually tired. I know my time is limited yet I find a growing freedom to bask in the joy of being loved by my Lord. Many times I can anticipate the other side of the grave.

And here’s what I can enjoy about that anticipation: I can already feel myself sitting on Jesus’ lap with my head against his chest. I can freely say, “I love you, Daddy.”

Yes, yes, I know. I’ve been studying biblical theology for more than 50 years.  I ought to be able to keep Jesus and the Father separate for the sake of theological clarify. But I’m not talking about theology. I’m talking about images and sensations that keep rising to the fore in my heart. And I’m not going to get off the beautiful lap.

I also find a deeper joy than ever in friendships. One couple with whom we are especially close spent a couple of days with us this past week. We’ve been good friends for nearly 40 years. I don’t think there has even been a minute when I’ve taken them for granted, yet now it  seems truly miraculous that the Lord could have put such people in our lives.

Our lives are filled with miracles. I do not mean merely that there are lots of good things that happen to us and that surround us. I mean God-caused interruptions that add richness and depth to our lives. And I do not mean special little gifts God sets aside for those who love him. He loves us, no matter our response. He loves and cherishes you right this moment. Don’t wait until impending death hones your senses.

Here’s a simple idea: The more you practice saying Thank You, the more sensitive you will become to all the reasons yo have for giving thanks.


About mthayes42

I am a retired pastor, interested in the Bible, cross-cultural ministries, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, and the current and past history of western civilization.
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